Post V-Day

(sigh) Is it possible that the day AFTER Valentine's day has actually been worse than the actual holiday?!
I feel like I have an emotional hangover from just keeping the mask up all day.

There's only 2 people at work that know about the break-up right now & I'm trying to keep it that way.
So, naturally, EVERYONE who thinks MM & I are still together managed to ask me things like "Soooo, what are YOUR big plans for tonight"...all day long.

The ironic thing was that I could answer them all honestly by saying things like "It won't be much different than year's past" (MM=not a guy to go out of his way to do anything romantic) or simply say "Painting."

Oh, yeah, it's been several weeks since my last post; and in that vast amount of time I've began finally painting the walls of the house...a year and a half later. It's one more of those annoying to-do-itches at that back of my brain, that I'm trying to scratch (sort of like the thresholds). Additionally, It's keeping me busy during a time I value the distraction the most.

I'll post pictures, soon.

In the last few weeks, I've honestly been doing ok.
Not great, but simply ok; which is vast improvement than the entire month of January.

I've mostly finished re-arranging furniture to fill the voids, and found a fantastic solid wood desk & old steamer trunk on Craigslist (both steals at $50 & $30 respectively)...because, when I'm sad, impulse bargain-buying always seems to make me feel better.

I've had alittle more time & composure to talk to a few more friends on the phone, recently. I know everyone is curious or concerned, but after awhile I start feeling like a broken record. I had one much-needed  conversation not as much about the break-up but just good ol' catching up on life and ended that call feeling refreshed, invigorated, and reassured that there's someone out there who surfs on my same wavelength.

My mom was down all last weekend, to celebrate her Birthday.
She also needed to come down to see me & confirm that everything was ok. She didn't say that, but I know how her head works & her excessive worrying. I think we both needed that confirmation.
It was a relaxing weekend of long chats, some thrift shopping, eating lots of Chipotle (one of her favorite places!) and me getting her addicted to watching "Sons of Anarchy" on Netflix.

She's managed to call me EVERY SINGLE DAY this week, to give me an update on her progress through the series. She's hooked.

 I realized last night, that being single again after so long, being emotionally vulnerable, and hungry for affection leaves me in an exposed position that seems so foreign & scary to me. Since I'm not dating anyone, I had no flower delivery surprises, dinner reservations, or even someone to just give me a hug; I put my emotional eggs into one basket last night waiting on a text/phone call from another solo friend, that never came.
The kicker is I can't figure out if it was just carelessness, intentional, etc. 
I just hate that the funky head-space it put me in, carried through into some super bizarre dreams, & a cloudy mood today...hence the hangover feeling.

Ugh. Lame.

Thank christ it's Friday, and there's events planned for this weekend that involve good friends & lots of cocktails.